In all honesty, the transition from law school back to "normal" life has affected me a little more than I'd like to admit. I frequently daydreamed of all the things I would do with the extra free time I would inherit after graduating and studying for the bar. I envied anyone whose facebook status included the words, "vacation," "relaxing," or "at the beach." I longed for the day when my life would again include such leisurely activities.
Thankfully, I have been able to enjoy a little free time since completing the bar exam and I had a fabulous time with my family at Clearwater Beach. In the three weeks between the bar exam and the start of a new school year we have frequented the beach on several occasions to look for shark teeth, play in the waves, and build sandcastles. I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to spend some long awaited quality time with my husband and children.
A new school year has begun and each morning the children scurry to gather their belongings and head out the door. Four children in four different schools this year makes for quite an interesting school day! By 8:45 a.m. the house is again quiet and it's just me and the dog both of us wondering what to do with ourselves all day.
Most law firms aren't interested in discussing employment opportunites until one has passed the bar and been admitted to that jurisdiction's bar. Bar exam results aren't posted until September 21st. In the meantime, many law students - myself included - anxiously await as each passing day continues to plague itself with a plethora of emotions ranging from nervousness and fear to excitement and relief. And so I find myself with yet another opportunity to exercise patience, as if raising four kids wasn't practice enough!
My type-A personality doesn't lend itself well to downtime; I need to be doing something at all times or I feel unaccomplished. My husband calls it "superhuman," but I like to think of it as a woman with a mission. I've never needed more than 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night and I like to keep busy all hours of the day. Needless to say, four children, a job and school for the last seven years has proven to keep me busy 95% of the time. So now that I'm finished with school and my job, I have A LOT of free time ... at least until I pass the bar and find more employment.
Free time, kids at school and the house to myself should make me jump up and down while screaming for joy, right? I did just that for the first few days and now I'm completely miserable. I've worked so hard to get to the point that I am and I want to use all of my knowledge to start helping people but I'm not able to. There is a process to be followed and every step must be completed. It took a few days and a long walk on the beach for me to realize that.
This morning as I was walking along the beach pondering how I can best utilize this period of time in my life, I began to look at the sea shells lying all around me. As I stared at some of these shells and noticed their flowing patterns of color I began to realize that the colors on each shell complemented one another which led me to another thought. Heavenly Father in his infinite wisdom requires order in ALL things - even sea shells! While this may not be much of an inspirational message to others, it was truly an "a-ha" moment for me. I began to understand that if God commands order in such small things, surely he requires order in the lives of His children as well. Being able to become an attorney requires getting a secondary education, going through law school, taking the bar exam, and being admitted to the bar. Every step is necessary and must be done in order. And so it is with my life as well. There is a reason for this period of waiting and not knowing what lies ahead for me. It builds my faith. It urges me to continue to rely on my Heavenly Father's wisdom and not so much my own. It enables me to understand God's purpose and direction for me. It reminds me that I am to constantly be submissive to His will. It is this knowledge that will allow me a few years from now to look back on this time and realize that surely, all things did work together for my good.
Thankfully, I have been able to enjoy a little free time since completing the bar exam and I had a fabulous time with my family at Clearwater Beach. In the three weeks between the bar exam and the start of a new school year we have frequented the beach on several occasions to look for shark teeth, play in the waves, and build sandcastles. I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to spend some long awaited quality time with my husband and children.
A new school year has begun and each morning the children scurry to gather their belongings and head out the door. Four children in four different schools this year makes for quite an interesting school day! By 8:45 a.m. the house is again quiet and it's just me and the dog both of us wondering what to do with ourselves all day.
Most law firms aren't interested in discussing employment opportunites until one has passed the bar and been admitted to that jurisdiction's bar. Bar exam results aren't posted until September 21st. In the meantime, many law students - myself included - anxiously await as each passing day continues to plague itself with a plethora of emotions ranging from nervousness and fear to excitement and relief. And so I find myself with yet another opportunity to exercise patience, as if raising four kids wasn't practice enough!
My type-A personality doesn't lend itself well to downtime; I need to be doing something at all times or I feel unaccomplished. My husband calls it "superhuman," but I like to think of it as a woman with a mission. I've never needed more than 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night and I like to keep busy all hours of the day. Needless to say, four children, a job and school for the last seven years has proven to keep me busy 95% of the time. So now that I'm finished with school and my job, I have A LOT of free time ... at least until I pass the bar and find more employment.
Free time, kids at school and the house to myself should make me jump up and down while screaming for joy, right? I did just that for the first few days and now I'm completely miserable. I've worked so hard to get to the point that I am and I want to use all of my knowledge to start helping people but I'm not able to. There is a process to be followed and every step must be completed. It took a few days and a long walk on the beach for me to realize that.
This morning as I was walking along the beach pondering how I can best utilize this period of time in my life, I began to look at the sea shells lying all around me. As I stared at some of these shells and noticed their flowing patterns of color I began to realize that the colors on each shell complemented one another which led me to another thought. Heavenly Father in his infinite wisdom requires order in ALL things - even sea shells! While this may not be much of an inspirational message to others, it was truly an "a-ha" moment for me. I began to understand that if God commands order in such small things, surely he requires order in the lives of His children as well. Being able to become an attorney requires getting a secondary education, going through law school, taking the bar exam, and being admitted to the bar. Every step is necessary and must be done in order. And so it is with my life as well. There is a reason for this period of waiting and not knowing what lies ahead for me. It builds my faith. It urges me to continue to rely on my Heavenly Father's wisdom and not so much my own. It enables me to understand God's purpose and direction for me. It reminds me that I am to constantly be submissive to His will. It is this knowledge that will allow me a few years from now to look back on this time and realize that surely, all things did work together for my good.
2 Comments:
My dear...I have a blog too....I added you to my list..Hope is ok with you. :)
Boy you sound like Chad! Million miles an hour with your hair on fire. He always thinks he wants to sit back and relax but it lasts about a minute and a half and he's up again on to the next thing!
Now, I can relax... do nothing.. type B here... : )
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