Variations on a Sacred Hymn

So it's been a few months, ok - four years - since I've posted to the blog, but my goal is to become better at this whole blog thing. 

Today in church as we sang the sacrament hymn (the song sung right before the bread and water are administered to the congregation), a phrase struck my eye that while I've heard a thousand times it never sunk in quite the way it did today. The phrase comes from a passage of scripture in the New Testament; Luke 22:42. The third verse of the hymn begins with the words, "Father, from me remove this cup. Yet if thou wilt I'll drink it up." These words brought comfort to my soul. Jesus Christ, the only perfect person to walk the earth, while on the cross pleaded with our Heavenly Father to remove the bitter cup thus displaying his need for drawing on another's strength. 

How many of us go through life thinking we always have to be strong, we have to solve a situation on our own, or that we have something to prove? Do we go through a challenge and pray only after we've tried to figure it all out on our own? Do we turn down the help others offer because we can do it all on our own? Do we build walls and keep problems to ourselves because we think we are supposed to master life on our own? I know I've been guilty of all of the above at least a time or two. 

Today I learned that we are not expected to get through life or its many challenges on our own. We have been given the gift of companionship whether it be with a spouse, a family member, a friend, or most importantly our Savior, Jesus Christ. Today I learned that there are people who have faced some of the same challenges I have and would welcome the opportunity to help me. Today I learned through the simple words of a sacred hymn that Christ is our perfect example in all things, even in showing me that this journey called life is not meant to be traveled alone. 

So the next time someone offers you help, kind words of encouragement, or a listening ear, take them up on the offer. A former prophet of our church, President Spencer W. Kimball stated in a talk, "God does notice us and he watches over us, but it is usually through another person that he meets our needs."  The Savior was perfect, yet there came a time when even he needed the strength of our Father.  We have need of his strength too. 

All Things Shall Work Together for Our Good

In all honesty, the transition from law school back to "normal" life has affected me a little more than I'd like to admit. I frequently daydreamed of all the things I would do with the extra free time I would inherit after graduating and studying for the bar. I envied anyone whose facebook status included the words, "vacation," "relaxing," or "at the beach." I longed for the day when my life would again include such leisurely activities.
Thankfully, I have been able to enjoy a little free time since completing the bar exam and I had a fabulous time with my family at Clearwater Beach. In the three weeks between the bar exam and the start of a new school year we have frequented the beach on several occasions to look for shark teeth, play in the waves, and build sandcastles. I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to spend some long awaited quality time with my husband and children.
A new school year has begun and each morning the children scurry to gather their belongings and head out the door. Four children in four different schools this year makes for quite an interesting school day! By 8:45 a.m. the house is again quiet and it's just me and the dog both of us wondering what to do with ourselves all day.
Most law firms aren't interested in discussing employment opportunites until one has passed the bar and been admitted to that jurisdiction's bar. Bar exam results aren't posted until September 21st. In the meantime, many law students - myself included - anxiously await as each passing day continues to plague itself with a plethora of emotions ranging from nervousness and fear to excitement and relief. And so I find myself with yet another opportunity to exercise patience, as if raising four kids wasn't practice enough!
My type-A personality doesn't lend itself well to downtime; I need to be doing something at all times or I feel unaccomplished. My husband calls it "superhuman," but I like to think of it as a woman with a mission. I've never needed more than 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night and I like to keep busy all hours of the day. Needless to say, four children, a job and school for the last seven years has proven to keep me busy 95% of the time. So now that I'm finished with school and my job, I have A LOT of free time ... at least until I pass the bar and find more employment.
Free time, kids at school and the house to myself should make me jump up and down while screaming for joy, right? I did just that for the first few days and now I'm completely miserable. I've worked so hard to get to the point that I am and I want to use all of my knowledge to start helping people but I'm not able to. There is a process to be followed and every step must be completed. It took a few days and a long walk on the beach for me to realize that.
This morning as I was walking along the beach pondering how I can best utilize this period of time in my life, I began to look at the sea shells lying all around me. As I stared at some of these shells and noticed their flowing patterns of color I began to realize that the colors on each shell complemented one another which led me to another thought. Heavenly Father in his infinite wisdom requires order in ALL things - even sea shells! While this may not be much of an inspirational message to others, it was truly an "a-ha" moment for me. I began to understand that if God commands order in such small things, surely he requires order in the lives of His children as well. Being able to become an attorney requires getting a secondary education, going through law school, taking the bar exam, and being admitted to the bar. Every step is necessary and must be done in order. And so it is with my life as well. There is a reason for this period of waiting and not knowing what lies ahead for me. It builds my faith. It urges me to continue to rely on my Heavenly Father's wisdom and not so much my own. It enables me to understand God's purpose and direction for me. It reminds me that I am to constantly be submissive to His will. It is this knowledge that will allow me a few years from now to look back on this time and realize that surely, all things did work together for my good.

THE FLORIDA BAR EXAM

With only one week to go until the biggest exam of my life, I am starting to feel a little at ease with all the material I have to keep up with. I must admit that throughout this entire two month hiatus, I have become astonished at the amount of information the human brain is capable of retaining and processing. When I first started studying out of the 14 volumes of books I received courtesy of Barbri, I felt like a swimmer in the middle of the ocean with no hope of being able to stay above water long enough to be rescued. As the days and weeks have progressed, I slowly felt the sea begin to calm and for the first time I actually felt a glimmer of hope that I might be able to pass this exam on the first try!

I've also noticed lately that I really miss thinking like a normal person. I legally analyze EVERYTHING I encounter. I sat on the beach a few days ago analyzing the rights of a little girl who lost her beach ball and the family that subsequently found it a few hours later. I can't drive by a construction site without analyzing attractive nuisance or possible negligence and strict liability claims. I can't go into a store without thinking about the duties owed to an invitee.

One thing's for sure - even after days and days of nothing but studying for the bar I still LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the law. I'm so grateful to have found my passion in life and can't wait to be able to use my skills and abilities to help others.

WE DID IT!!!

Yes, that's right, WE did it! On May 16, 2009 we graduated from law school. What a huge accomplishment for our family. Even though I was the only one who could walk across the stage and accept the degree, getting through law school was definitely a concerted family effort that required sacrifice on everyone's part. I am so thankful to my family for sticking by my side thorughout this endeavor and allowing me to fulfill my dream of becoming an attorney.

As I reflect back on the last seven years since I started undergraduate school a flood of emotions sweeps over me. It's amazing to think that my children were 3, 4, 6 and 7 when I first started school and now they seem so grown up. It's hard to imagine life without Mommy in school, but I can't wait to start a new chapter with them. Looking back, one of the things I have been able to appreciate the most is quality time with my children. Although it can be hard at times to balance school, family, church and work, it is always nice to feel needed by my children. No longer do I take for granted the time I spend with them even if it's just to walk the dog or take a quick trip to the store.

I am especially grateful to my wonderful husband for being so supportive of my endeavor. Without him, fulfilling my dream would have been impossible and I have come to truly respect the amazing man that he is. This time has also allowed my children to develop a deep bond with their father; an opportunity most children rarely get these days.

So here's to you my family, without whom I could have never soared to new heights. Each of you truly are the wind beneath my wings.

Darin's Star Award

Last month Darin received his Star rank along with 7 merit badges. What an accomplishment! He worked so hard over the summer earning badges both on his own and at scout camp. While at scout camp this year, Darin earned his rifle merit badge and also received a certificate from the National Rifle Association for hitting the target within a certain amount of shots. Most boys don't earn a certificate such as this because they are unable to hit the target within a given amount of hits, so we were really proud of Darin's success!

Darin was awarded his Star rank almost 5 months after he actually earned it so this month he is all ready on track to receive Life rank. We met with the scoutmaster today and Darin has been approved to move forward with his Eagle project. That's my boy!!!

Philadelphia

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to take a much needed break from law school and spend a weekend with one of my dear friends who recently moved to Philly. We had sooooo much fun together! Although the weekend was way too short and went by way too fast, we packed in so many activites into the 48 hours I spent there. On Friday we toured Independence Hall and the Betsy Ross house, took a carriage ride through Society Hill, visited Ben Franklin's grave and homesite, saw the Liberty Bell and ate lunch at City Tavern. Saturday we got up early and took the train downtown to attend Time Out For Women. What a wonderful, spiritual, uplifting event that was. I missed TOFW when it was held in Florida earlier this year because of a test I had to take in Gainsville, but I'm so glad I had the opportunity to attend with a wonderful friend. After TOFW, we hopped back on the train and went to Valley Forge for the evening. I truly felt that I was on hollowed ground in Valley Forge. I love visiting historical places, especially when it involves being able to learn about our Forefathers and the sacrifices they made for all of us.

The pictures here are of the Betsy Ross House, George Washington's House (built by him), and Independence Hall.

Our Favorite Cheerleader

Madison tried out for the middle school cheer team in May and out of 133 girls, she was one of only a handful of girls that made the team. We were so proud of her! She has had so much fun learning all of the new cheers and stunts. The funny part is, Madison spends so much time at home practicing these catchy little cheers that we all find ourselves "cheering" from time to time. We've had lots of fun going to her games and watching her cheer on the football and basketball teams.